I started learning about self-love around the age of nine or ten. I was in elementary school, and I would leave the house feeling beautiful and admiring the amazing outfit I chose to wear to school. Suddenly, throughout the day, I would hate my hair, my unique features on my face, and wish I chose something different to wear. This was all because of my peers and their cruel comments, jokes, and bad energy towards me. I would come home and tell my aunt what would happen, and she would see the hurt in my eyes. One day, she had enough and called me into her room. She made me look in the mirror and say, “I am beautiful” 100 times. You would think it would be easy to say. I couldn’t believe the words I was saying to myself. It felt like a knife jabbing into my stomach after each word. I eventually finished, but with puffy eyes and tears running down my face. At that time, it didn’t help as much as I think she thought it would, but many years later, it is something I do very often. As a result of that imprint on my life years ago, I look at myself and love every flaw and imperfect mark on my body. Everyday is not the same as the last, I still have days where I do not feel beautiful, however I know that self-love is a journey not a destination. Everyday learning to love who you are in and out, makes life worth living. My life is worth living because of my continuous self-talks. I have learned to talk positively to myself. My self-talks matter because I am listening to them, it has an impact on the way I see myself, as well as what I am worthy of. Life is worth living because I am beautifully and wonderfully made in God’s image, and beauty is not defined solely on the outside features, but within.
Like Lauryn Hill said, “How you gonna win if you ain’t right within” ?
