You know that cross country road trip that seems like it never ends, and you keep asking “Are we there yet?” That’s how I would describe my self-love and self-care journey. Just when I thought I had arrived; I would come to a bump in the road that often led me to a detour. Bumps in the road come in a variety of presentations and in hindsight, a blessing in disguise. Cliché I know, but the phrase, “when one door closes, another opens” is legit.
Through self-doubt, failed relationships, life challenges, health considerations, contemplating my professional career, living in my purpose, sleepless nights and eyes filled with tears, I have prevailed. The triumph after the struggle has showed me that I am strong, resilient, and loved. Something interesting happens when you get to the light at the end of the tunnel. At least for me, there has been this enlightenment. On my journey of self-care and self-love, I have done some self-assessing. I recognize that I play a role in some of the obstacles that I have encountered. I also know that I set the standard and when I know what I want, and how to love me, the people around me have a blueprint to follow. Additionally, what a self-assessment has done for me is increase my awareness so that I can make the necessary changes or adjustments to be a better person. I have loved myself even more. And it has felt good. Loving me has helped me to set boundaries and reduce my engagement with people and things that no longer serve me. And that alone has been liberating. Let’s talk liberation.
In December of 2019, I took an impromptu 5-day cruise. Some people thought it was weird. Some people questioned whether I was really going solo. My family was fearful of me traveling alone. And you know what? I did not care what people thought. I just did it. Can I say freedom. It was just what I needed, and this journey of self-love continued to evolve. By the way, if you’ve never taken a solo trip, get to it. Taking a vacation by myself had been on my bucket list but I was afraid and concerned about what other people would think. In that moment I did it scared, and I am so glad I did.
Lastly, what has been amazing about my self-love and self-care journey is trying new things and learning new things about myself. We are ever changing and evolving and recognizing and appreciating that about myself is a whole “nutha” level of love. This journey has helped me to be unapologetically me: Bold, Black, Woman, Smart, Beautiful and Plus Size! I am loving this journey and I now know that I can stop asking “Are we there yet?” because self-love is not a destination.
